From the author of the acclaimed best seller, Fifty Shades of Bay, and such inspirational posts as I Have a Love/Hate Relationship With Horse Movies, comes a poetry debut of such depth and beauty, you may literally cry in your seat.
An Equestrian Life presents:
An Ode to Smart-Ass Little Pony
Oh Pony,
My Pony,
You have returned from training,
Thank goodness, for you are rather entertaining,
Pony is not amused.
Fresh from your working vacation,
I gaze upon you with admiration.
With a delicate face, and serene beauty,
The warmblood in you gives you a big booty.
It’s okay, I do too. Family curse, even to adopted members.
You long to be wild and free,
Since I can’t clip you, you have a goatee.
You make attempts to avoid capture,
Now I don’t try in the pasture.
“Release me from my gilded cage!”
I lure you in with food,
It takes you a moment to realize you are screwed.
You may think you are doomed,
But you do enjoy being groomed.
He requires treat payment for these types of activities.
We go out for some exercise,
Lunging around clockwise.
You know how to trot,
It’s not a battle that needs to be fought.
You move with such grace,
Around in circles of haste.
Even though you pretend to be a grump,
You actually enjoyed that jump!
My de-blur supplement hasn’t come in yet.
While sun glints off your gorgeous bay coat,
You’re daydreaming of that goat.
That’s not the ghost of him by that tree,
Although your trainer is now so sick of him, we could probably get him free.
You pretend you’re in fear
Out splash your pony tears.
But I’m not buying it anymore,
I will literally knock your ass to the floor.
You know how to behave,
Now you just need to be brave.
In the end, you really are a good boy,
Even if your size makes you little more than a toy.
That’ll do Pony. That’ll do.