The Horse Makeover

With Winter firmly here, and after discovering a sale on blankets at a local store, it’s time for my winter makeover post!! I received this nomination from Berry, a thoroughbred mare in Virginia.

Berry writes:

My companions are soooo embarrassing! They look like they are wearing scruffy rags from three seasons ago. They don’t even fit right! Pony’s blanket is cut so high on his stomach, looks like he’s wearing the blanket equivalent of high waters. It’s not going to flood here anytime soon! And Vintage is so snooty, she acts like she’s wearing the latest designer, but anyone see that it’s clearly from the outlets. The horses next door (see picture below) are giving us looks.

Judging with their beady little eyes. *

I’ve included this picture of me, showing what fashion should look like. Even though my outfit is due for the dry cleaners, I think you get the point.

The understated and under appreciated queen of glamour.

Please help me!!! (and them too, I guess.)

Graciously yours,

Baroness Berry of the Marshall Plains

Thanks for writing in, Berry! I decided your companions are perfect candidates for receiving a makeover!

I approached Vintage and informed her she was receiving a free makover.

“I’m busy, come back later.”

She was indifferent, although she did mention that her current blanket does little to keep her warm. She has a very thin winter coat (nearly non-existent) and her blanket is a 200 fill blanket, no name brand, that is indeed from a discount store. She does take care of her blankets though, and this one does not have any rips on it.

I approached Pony, and he ran away.

This is the pony equivalent of cuss words.

Later, I caught up to him and told him he won a free makeover.  His blanket is only a 100 fill, and he says that he only got it because that man that lives at the house insisted that his caretaker buy it for him. She was going to leave him blanketless. He did admit that his  blanket is getting small on him, but said he was attached to it since he’s had it since he was a long yearling. Pony hates change.

I went back to Vintage, since she was more receptive to change. I picked out the perfect blanket for her. A comfortable 400 fill, in a flattering blue color. I tossed it on her, and pulled the other one off from underneath (like those people who pull the tablecloth off tables and leave all the plates on). I impressed myself.

“I’m beautiful and I know it.”

She looked incredible! The color and cut was flattering, and Vintage admitted it was nice and warm. Witnessing the change, Berry was so impressed she begin pawing the old blanket on the ground in what I assume was approval. She attempted to grab it with her mouth as well, but I decided at that point that it was probably best to put it away in the barn.

Even though Pony witnessed how great a well fitting and flattering blanket can look, he was still reluctant to try it on. He evaded me by walking in circles around Vintage while she stood chewing hay.

“You’ll never take me alive!”

Eventually I convinced him to just try it. I promised I’d take it right back off if he didn’t like it. He finally stood still long enough for me to put it on him.

For Pony, I choose a dark blue from the up and coming designer London Fog**. He thought about it for a few minutes while doing some more circles, but decided it was okay. He liked the fit much better, and the dark blue is masculine and flattering. He then decided I was no longer interesting and resumed eating hay.

Berry was very happy with her companions’ new outfits. She knows they don’t look nearly as good as her, but she won’t be embarrassed anymore when the neighbors look over. For a lady like her, that’s the best possible solution.

*This flashy paint mare is available for adoption!

**I had never heard of this brand before I purchased it.