
I haven’t been able to ride much over the past few years. It’s been sporadic at best. This is the life of a parent though, kids take a lot of attention that may otherwise be used for riding.
Now that my kids are old enough to function and do their own taxes, I decided I’m going to make riding work again. I’ve been detailing it a lot on my YouTube channel, definitely go check it out. But I want to talk about one thing in particular: Fear.
Riding fear is really common. It’s amazing how something we love so much can also scare us. Obviously we don’t want to be scared of it – we dream of blissful rides, making the gallop through open fields, wind in our face, a beautiful sunset on the horizon. We want to do that, but then we think, what if my horse won’t stop? What if he crashed into something? What if he starts bucking. All the “what if?”s hit us hard. It’s much easier to just stay in our safe spot, doing out little trot sets, avoiding anything that might have bad results.
Stu, my only riding horse now since I sold my beloved Berry, is a giant, green warmblood. He’s been in training over the years, but I personally haven’t ridden him very much, because of the aforementioned children. Finally, I have now worked out a system where I am actually riding him multiple times a week, but now there’s a bunch of factors that make me feel afraid.
The primary factors are being out of riding shape, the ring being very isolated, and just the general feeling of not knowing Stu very well, feeling like he could react to something unexpected.
The most obvious answer is to take some lessons to regain my confidence – and I have. I just took one a few days ago actually! I’ve been trying a few times to start up lessons, and it hasn’t been working out due to my weird schedule revolving around the kids. I’m working on getting a regular weekly lesson slot now though.
But there’s also something inside of me that just hates the principle of it. Not against the principle of lessons, I love lessons. It’s that I’ve taken hundreds of lessons over the years, studied so much about riding, and I do know what I should do. I hate being reliant on someone else to hold my hand to be able to ride. I don’t want to feel scared just because that person isn’t there. The amount of time I’ve spent riding green horses should have made some kind of impact!.
I really believe it’s just a mental block. I’m timid and scared, unless Stu actually acts up. Then I revert into serious training mode, this is how we are doing it, I mean business. I need to be in serious training mode from the start.
The fear video above I posted nearly a month ago. The good news is that my confidence has vastly improved since then. I wouldn’t say that I’m ready to gallop through open fields (cause I don’t think he’d stop) but I really feel way more confident.
Here are some of the ways I built up my confidence riding.
Strategies for Building Your Confidence
Riding INstructor / Trainer
I’m going to state the most obvious one first – get help. If you’re really scared, having someone to stand with you and coach you is probably the best thing you can do. I’ve done this with multiple horses, and I’ve always been thrilled with the results. There’s probably no faster way to build up your confidence.
Again, I will admit that this is not the strategy I primarily used, but I have been taking lessons on and off with my trainer, it just hasn’t been on a consistent basis. It’s been hard to schedule lessons around childcare. But again, I took a lesson a few days ago, and I’m going back on a regular schedule now.
Really, there’s no reason to struggle and be upset when you can get help and guidance. I highly recommend this as the first option to be considered. If you feel there’s no trainers around you, consider traveling trainers, haul in trainers, even virtual trainers. Or even try searching on YouTube, there’s some big name trainers on there who give advice. There’s options to be considered. You don’t have to go at this alone, and sometimes all it takes it a few lessons (or sometimes even just one) until you’re enjoying your horse so much more.
Review the Horse’s Training – Go Back to BAsics
When I thought about the reasons I was scared, I realized a lot of it came from a feeling of not being in control. I’ve complained in the past about Stu feeling like a train, just barreling forward in whichever direction he feels like. So the answer was to go back in his training, and work on his steering. I spent a lot of time just working on retraining basic turning. Yes, he should have already known this, but for whatever reason, he didn’t.
I started out on the ground, teaching him to give to the bit, and then I moved onto riding him at the walk, reinforcing giving to the bit. We did a lot of work at the walk, doing lots of turns and halting. When we moved on to the trot, he was responding much better, and I did feel in control. It had felt slow to do so much work at the walk, but it really paid off.
If you’re able to pinpoint the exact behavior of your horse that is making you uncomfortable, you can go back to the basics and retrain your horse. That is definitely an oversimplified thing to say, since there’s a huge range of horse behaviors that could make someone uncomfortable, but if you can figure it out, going back to the basics of training can help fix holes.
Working On Yourself
There’s a good reason why there’s a specific position used while riding, heels down, back straight – It gives you the most secure seat. Equitation isn’t for looking pretty, it’s the most effective way to use your own body.
When I first started riding again, my body was not used to it. But one of the benefits of creating my YouTube channel was that I got a ton of footage to review my position. I could see my own mistakes, and remember to fix them on the next ride. Fixing my own position gave me a stronger base, making me feel more secure in the saddle. I still need a lot of improvement, but improving
Of course, having a trainer there coaching would have been immediate results and way faster than filming myself, reviewing the footage, and then remembering for the next time. Just saying!
Pushing Outside Your Comfort Zone
There comes a certain point where, if you’ve put in the background work, you’ve just go to do it. If your dream is to ride from the arena to the barn instead of walking it, at some point you’ve just got to get on and go. If you want to trail ride, you’ve just go to hit the trail. Prep for it sure, maybe don’t trail ride alone the first time, but the only way to get braver is to just do it. The first time can be scary, but every time gets easier.
I’m not recommending you do something your horse isn’t ready for, don’t be unsafe. But you are probably capable of more than you think. The only way to build your confidence circle is to push it out, little by little. Every ride push yourself a little bit more. Gradually steps, baby steps, moving towards your ultimate goal of riding freedom.
Circling once more to the trainer – having a trainer will help with this confidence building. They are going to keep pushing you, little by little, to build you up. You don’t need to do it alone.
That’s the goal for Stu and I. We’re going to keep pushing, little by little, until I can gallop through those fields again. Until I can head out on a trail ride without worry. We’ll get there, not today, or tomorrow, but even if it takes a while, we’ll get there eventually. Enjoy the journey of working and learning with your horse, and it won’t feel like an unachievable challenge. It’ll be a natural progression of growing as a horseperson.
Check out my recent lesson below.