The Taming of the Pony

Earlier, I introduced my pony, and my training method. Now after several months, I’ve decided its time to continue training the pony.

For your pony to be considered trained, it has to be able to pose for photo shoots. After all, that is the main thing ponies are used for. Take your pony and a good friend to a field, and start taking photos.

As you can see, my pony is a natural.

Just make sure you don’t make my novice mistake and not dress up! Try breeches and a button up, or for the really glamorous pony, think “Kentucky Derby” and wear a sundress and hat.

Pony Man already has the semize down. For those who have better things to do than watch America’s Next Top Model, that means “smile with your eyes”.

Highest rated photo of the week. Look at the tension he puts in his lips while keeping his ears relaxed. Pure talent.

Since getting a good photo will mainly be about getting one where you look good, the most important skill the pony needs to learn is to plant his feet on the ground and not move, since you will likely be there a while. I had a bit of an issue with this, as my Pony has only been at his breeder’s and on my property, so invading my neighbor’s yard for pictures was a very exciting experience for him. Also, he saw the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen.

Oh beautiful Aphrodite, you have taken the form of white draft cross.

Her beauty was quite distracting, and being the studly pony he is, he became very excited. It may seem counter productive, but I’ve found the best thing to do when your pony is dancing in place is to make him move his little feet. So I lounged him right there in my neighbor’s yard.

Luckily they don’t care about little pony hoof prints, but if your neighbor does, don’t lounge your pony in your neighbor’s yard.

My pony realized pretty quick that he would be able to stand and gaze at his new love if he calmed down. Also I think he may have run out of energy.

Thus ends today’s lesson. The moral of the story is, take your pony to new places, and expose him to lots of stuff. The benefits are obvious.

Winning America’s Next Top Pony. He will get that $100k and a modeling contract with SmartPak.